Life is just so painful and messy and hard and worth it and all that stuff.
“
| — | Robert Downey Jr. (via gq) |
a romantic comedy about a north korean dictator and a south korean popstar called ‘seoul mates’
This is why they want to attack us
The US version of Harry Potter is surprisingly short.
If you look at Harry’s mouth it looks a lot like he says “BAM”
This is the new “MOVI” camera stabilizer that has the possibility to rapidly change the film industry
was i just turned on by a camera
OH MY GOD
Oh my FUCK.
I was already going to reblog this for the camera and link but then ^^this gif happened
HOW TO ENJOY A NECTARINE:
STEP 1) OBTAIN NECTARINE
STEP 2) SHOVE NECTARINE INTO MOUTH-HOLE
STEP 3) SPIT OUT PIT
STEP 4) PLANT PIT SO YOU WILL OBTAIN MORE NECTARINES IN THE FUTURE
ALTERNATIVELY, IF YOU’RE NOT A FRUIT-CRAVING ASSHOLE LIKE ME, YOU CAN DICE THAT BEAUTIFUL SHIT UP AND THROW IT IN A SALAD.
DON’T LIKE SALAD? WHAT THE FUCK?
HOW ABOUT A FUCKING FRUIT SHAKE?
USE YOUR TARDIS (chameleon device optional) TO JOURNEY TO THE FINEST OF CALIFORNIA’S ORCHARDS TO HARVEST 2 RIDICULOUSLY PERFECT NECTARINES.
THROW THEM IN YOUR AIR AND TRICK YOUR PET SABERTOOTH MOOSE-LION INTO PLAYING FRUIT NINJA WITH IT, THUS SLICING IT IN HALF AND REMOVING THE PIT.
THRUST YOUR FIST INTO THE BAG OF BROWN SUGAR AND RIP OUT 2 TABLESPOONS OF THAT STICKY, YET DELIGHTFUL BULLSHIT.
RETURN TO YOUR COW OF AN EX-WIFE. NO I REALLY MEAN COW. HEIFER. YOU NEED TO CONVINCE HER TO PRODUCE SOME BUTTERMILK, ABOUT ONE CUP.
SEE IF YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CHILDREN TO DISNEY WORLD WHILE YOU WAIT FOR HER TO FINISH.
GIVE HER SOME EXTRA-FINE OATS BECAUSE SHE’S A BEAUTIFUL, CLASSY HOOVED MAMMAL.
STARE AT YOUR INGREDIENTS WITH AN INCREASING AMOUNT OF KILLER INTENT UNTIL IT ALL SWIRLS TOGETHER….OR USE A BLENDER.
CONGRATS, ONCE EVERYTHING IS WELL-MIXED, YOU MADE YOURSELF A FUCKING DELICIOUS FRUIT SHAKE!
